Thanks, The Mirror, for this journalistic gem: “I’m knitting myself into an early old age”
Category Archives: CRAFT JOURNALISM SIN COMMITTED
The Daily Mail on yarnbombing.
Some EXCELLENT cliches here.
• ‘As the guerilla art scene goes, it’s more WI than Banksy.’
• ‘Some might say this is vandalism at its woolliest.’
• ‘The craze is becoming so popular it has a fan page on Facebook.’ (Because simply having a fan page on Facebook is the absolute marker of popularity these days, isn’t it?)
Erm, The Mirror, you can shove that right up your jacksy.
“Clearly time to stop kicking ass, girls, and pick up the knitting instead.”
Older ladies, such as Tyne Daly and Sharon Gless, can still go out and party – they don’t have to stay home knitting. Grrr.
“Fewer than 75 outside shareholders attended the one-hour meeting, including one woman who was knitting throughout the proceedings.”
Knitting? KNITTING? WHY, WE MUST STONE HER!
Business Week, don’t be so silly. Just because someone’s clicking away during a Morgan Stanley outside shareholders’ meeting, it certainly doesn’t mean she wasn’t listening. It’s just like doodling, don’t y’know? Some of us concentrate better while we’re keeping our hands busy.
Let me introduce you to the art of “sknitch”.
Apparently it’s act of sewing, knitting and stitching at the Clothes Show, and “it’s making a massive comeback all thanks to funky big knits and big big BIG woollen scarfs!”. It even has it’s own logo. And it’s Dear Leaders? Why of course it’s Sarah Jessica Parker and Madonne, two slebs famed for sitting around knitting/sewing/stitching their own stuff.
Bloody hell.
Come one guys. COME ON! Sewing and stitching are the same thing. The rise of craft did not come about because we fell in love with big knits. Sazza and Madge don’t sit around all night crafting.. they jumped right on that knitting bandwagon five years ago when everyone else’s publicists put out a “Julia Roberts/Cameron Diaz/insert-name-of-sleb-whp-once-mentioned-knitting-here LOVES KNITTING”.
And, as Lisa Lam (who pointed me in the direction of this link) says of Sknitch: “Makes me think of …erm…’alternative’ names for lady bits.” Bosh.
KNIITTING SAVED MY LIFE.
Or something like that.
“Knitting helped me survive the agony of divorce”, by Rin Simpson over at the Mail.
I’m disappointed by the headline if I’m honest. Surely “I LEFT MY HUSBAND FOR MY NEEDLES” would be more Mail-esque.
Verdict? A poor show by the headline writers.
Team Minogue to crack out their needles.
“I’m trying to get (Kylie) to knit and crochet”, said the X-Factor judge.
Cue more “knitting is cool again” features which name-check Sarah Jessica Parker, Russell Crowe, Julia Roberts, and now Kylie as “big fans” of the “up-and-coming craft”. Tsk.
Think I’m joking? Check out this up-t0-the-minute piece in the Daily Mail yesterday which says, shock horror, that the new thing to do is KNITTING IN PUBS. Erm, when did they start commissioning based on trends of 2006?
I definitely need fashion advice from Dawn Bibby.
When QVC presenters like Dawn Bibby are telling you what’s what, how can I ignore it.
“Pom Poms Are Back
Less scary than the return of the bum bag and not as challenging as a body con dress, the pom-pom has reinvented itself as this seasons must have item. Usually associated with cheerleading or childhood, the pom pom has grown up and moved on. Gracing the catwalks in Diane Von Furstenberg and Mulberry and decking out celebs from Cheryl Cole to Rhianna, fashion followers everywhere are attaching pom poms to everything and anything.
Craft expert Dawn Bibby from QVC has put together a simple step by step guide so that you can create your own pom poms. Tag them onto scarves, attach them to your knee length socks or even dangle them from your best handbag but be rest assured that with home-made ones, your pom poms will stand out from the fashion pack.
1. First of all you need 2 donut shaped pieces of card. You can use a compass or shape template. Draw the first one approximately 2cm in diameter and then on the outside of this another circle (the size you would like your pom pom) approx 5cm- 6cm on a sturdy piece of cardboard- a cereal box would do.
2. Then you need to prepare the wool; cut lengths ready to use maybe a couple of metres at a time or less. Keep a darning needle handy in particular for the last few lengths of wool.
3. Next, position the two pieces together and taking your wool hold the end to the outside of the circle. Now begin to wrap the wool through the centre hole and back around the outside. Around the back and through the front again. Continue working your way around the circle until you cannot see the cardboard.
4. Continue as above, changing wool as you run out. Always make sure the ends are on the outside of the circle not the inside (you can always trim the excess to bring them in line). As the centre circle fills you may find it easier to use a darning needle – you want to use as much wool as will possibly fit to make a lovely full pom pom.
5. The next step is the hardest, once you really cannot get any more wool through the centre take a sharp pair of scissors (hold the centre of the circle firmly) and slip the point of one blade in between the two cardboard circles. Now snip all the wool around the edge to open up your ball of wool. It will be quite thick so you may have to do a few layers at a time.
6. Take a new length of wool and place it between the two cardboard circles, tie it firmly together (as tight as you can) so it secures the lengths of wool in the middle.
7. Now remove the cardboard rings, snip them with scissors and pull out.
8. You may have to trim your pom pom to even up the overall look. Add your pom poms to hats, scarfs or fun accents on clothes. Experiment with different wools, using different colours and textures for new looks.”
Yup, so there we go.
“In real life they’re a combination almost as deadly as Jägermeister and vodka.”
That’s a mix of balls of wool and kittens, according to the Yorkshire Post’s Debbie Leigh‘s latest column on joining a knitting group (“I’m following in the glamorous footsteps of Julia Roberts, Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz”. Big craft journalism fail Debbie. Otherwise, a rather sweet piece.)
Make and do with Perri 